But...I AM a bunny!

Hello duckies...or in today's posting, bunnies.

Yes, bunnies.

So, just to be clear, today's picture book is NOT one of my top ten (or twenty, or thirty). It's not even on the top five hundred list. No, today's picture book has earned its place on the thumbs-down list. Not as far down as some of the other ones I'll eventually review, but...enough preamble.

Let's get started.

Today's book is called: "You Don't Get a Carrot Unless You're a Bunny". It was written by a fellow named Brian Mangas and illustrated by someone who draws about as well as I do. Let's call him Sidney Levitt (because that's his name). This book was published in 1989, which is surprising. The eighties were a time of equality, fairness, and basically making everyone feel like they were a winner and giving them an award, even if they totally didn't deserve it (trust me, my first grade athletic participation medal, circa 1986, speaks volumes). Bunnies wouldn't be the only ones to get carrots in the eighties. ANYONE would be able to get a carrot. Even clumsy children who couldn't turn a summersault very well.

Ahem.

So. The first thing we know is that in order to get carrots, you need to be a bunny. Well, that's a lucky thing because BOTH of our main characters (Honey and Sonny Bunny) happen to be...bunnies! Ah, but wait! It's Halloween! The bunnies have made rather clever bear and duck costumes (out of what appears to be flippers, earmuffs and some kind of puffy snowsuit/overall ensemble). They now look NOTHING like their former rabbit selves (yes they do).

To kick off their night of revelry, Honey and Sonny hop on over to Owl's house. Now, let's just pause for a moment and discuss the art. Namely this: it's not great. It's not even very good. I once had a discussion with someone at work (I work with artists) and, after showing him a board book, watched his face twist into an emotion I can only describe as exasperation, mixed with gob-smacked, mixed with anger, mixed with jealousy. I believe his exact words were, "I could crap out one of those in about an hour." I'm fairly certain that if I showed him this book, he'd have a similar reaction. I'm a big proponent of kid lit being both about the art and the text. This one isn't strong in either area. The colors are blah, the character design is blah, and the layouts are blah. I could've drawn this. In my sleep. With my mouth.

Back to the action: we're at Owl's house and he's all confused about who the heck is at his door. Fortunately, his less-clueless wife is there to remind him that it's Halloween. Extra-fortunately, she's also got a basket of yummy treats intended for each of the forest animals she's expecting to see that night. Well, Owl takes one look at the bunnies and gives the bear-bunny some honey (which, honestly, looks more like a urine sample) and the duck-bunny some 'duck feed.' Really. Duck feed. You didn't do one bit of research, did you Mr. Author? Do you REALLY think that wild ducks eat 'duck feed'? *sigh* The bunnies, surprised at their treats, attempt to correct Mr. Owl. (Sidebar: I'm not sure where we picked up the 'Mr.' His wife WAS referred to as 'Mrs.' earlier, but he was always just 'Owl'. Continuity is hard.) They politely ask for carrots. Mr. Owl/Owl refuses and says that the carrots were only for bunnies. Honey and Sonny explain that they are, indeed, bunnies. Mr. Owl/Owl totally doesn't believe them.

So... They take off their earmuffs and head snowsuit-covering thingy. Big ears pop out. No dice. Honey takes off her flippers, exposing her bunny feet. Nothing. They leap and bounce around. Nope. Mr Owl wasn't born yesterday. They'll have to do better than that to convince him. So they twitch their noses. And wiggle their tails. And thump their feet. And hop and flop...

And this is where it started to feel really awkward.

Let's take a look at the situation: this is a neighbour. The kids' claims are being completely ignored, despite the obvious fact that they ARE bunnies. More than that, Mr. Owl/Owl keeps upping the ante and asking them to do 'bunny things'.

Creepy, non?

Then the bunnies get tired and fall to the floor and look kind of dead. Mr. Owl looks a little bit regretful. At least there's that. (Actually, after going back several pages, I realized that he has the EXACT same expression on his face throughout. The only time it differs is when he speaks and the author draws his beak from the side. Also, I just noticed that he doesn't have wings or feathers. He has arms. And I now know who he reminds me of: my grade 10 geography teacher who used to wear horrible ties and yell a lot. Whew. Thank GOD I realized that. Would've kept me up all night).

OK, so the bunnies are unmoving on the floor, Owl/Mr. Owl gets a little weirded out, puts the basket down and yells for his wife (thank goodness for Mrs. Owl). When Mrs. Owl arrives at the door, the bunnies are gone. Mr. Owl asks Mrs. Owl (who, by the way, never actually SAW the bunnies), whether or not she thought they were legit. And Mrs. Owl says, "they must have been bunnies. They ate the carrots."

Buh-wha? When did this happen? They were dead on the floor! Just a second ago! Unmoving! And now...the carrots...are...gone. There's only one reasonable explanation. I daren't say it... Zombie ninja bunnies?

Anyway, Mrs. Owl doesn't blame the zombie ninja bunnies one bit, because, as she says, after all that 'flipping and flopping' they were probably hungry.

And that's the end of the story. On the back cover, the School Library Journal (which just fell 80,000 points off the credibility chart) suggested that 'young children' might enjoy this 'funny Halloween story.' Often people pawn off badly written stuff as 'suitable for younger children'. Just becuase they don't have life experience doesn't mean they deserve bad books, folks.

Plot holes you could drive a truck through, a story that makes absolutely no sense, the flopping of bunnies for their older neighbors and a character that reminds me of a man who wore his ties too tight around his pudgified neck: this story gets five lame points out of ten.

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!

Tonight's awesome book is "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!" By Mo Willems.

Reasons it's awesome:

1. The main character (the Pigeon) is hilarious. He's basically a four-year-old - but in bird form.

2. The premise is simple, yet ingenious. The reader is assigned the task of keeping the Pigeon from driving the bus driver's bus. The Pigeon proceeds to wheedle and whine, throw tantrums and bargain with the reader. All the while, the reader has to simply say 'No' to the Pigeon. And we all know how much kids love saying no!

3. The art is perfect for the book: expressive and simple. With a limited color palette and basic, almost child-like drawings, it feels just right.

4. It's funny for adults, too. I laughed aloud when I first came upon the two-page spread of the Pigeon losing his mind and having a fit. Brilliant!

5. It's got good re-read value. I love this book - it doesn't become less funny the more you read it. That's the true earmark of a great story.

Who's it for? Kids, ages 2-6. Or Pigeons, any age.

Any downsides? Nope. Pigeon is one of my favorites. I even have a plush version that yells "LET ME DRIVE THE BUS!" when you squeeze it.

Overall, out of ten bookmarks, I rate this one a solid nine. Pick it up and read it with your little one today!

Hey Alexander! Suck it up!

I'm going to ruffle some feathers here when I say that I really don't care for Judith Viorst's "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". But honestly, I don't.
Why?
Because the whole book is about a kid who whines about stuff that really isn't that bad. Really. And even as a kid, I think most people would realize that maybe Alexander's a bit on the hypersensitive side.

Anyway, that aside...

There's a sequel!

It's called (wait for it): "Alexander, Who's Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move".
Good lord, Judith! Brackets in your title? What's up with that? Simplify, girlfriend!

So. Alexander is back and ready for more whining! Only this time he's upset because he has to move. Now, moving IS hard, and it CAN be a traumatizing challenge for a child. But...I have a few issues with the story itself. Ah, let's just do a good ol' fashioned list recap, shall we?

Here goes:

1. The story starts out with Alex refusing to move. And why? Because! Somehow, Alex knows that there are no children his own age on his new street (which happens to be a thousand miles away). There are kids his brothers' ages, though. Because the world is unduly cruel to Alex.

2. Alex decides (based on the lack of boys his own age on his new street) that he will stay where he is. He'll just move in with the neighbours! I'm sure they'll be pleased to have a random bratty kid show up on their doorstep!

3. If the whole neighbour thing doesn't work out, there's always a tree house. You gotta love the picture of his parents standing below it, searching for their cleverly hidden son. The mother is sobbing...the dad kinda looks like he's half-assing the search. "No, honey. I don't see him anywhere. Let's just go inside and start packing. I'm sure he'll turn up eventually."

4. Alex's brother suggests staying at the zoo. I'm with him on that one.

5. Alex has to take one more look at all his 'special places.' Alex has to say goodbye to all of his 'special people'. He complains throughout the entire process. I'm guessing the 'speical people' are all having a party after Alex leaves. You know, because he'll be out of their lives forever.

6. Alex decides maybe he'll hide on his parents right before the moving van leaves. I would encourage this, if I was Alex's mom. "Sure, son. Try to hide! And we'll totes look for you. Honest! If we don't find you right away, it just means you're winning the game! Goooo you!"

7. Eventually, Alex realizes that he has to move. His parents promise that he'll be able to call his friends long distance and they assure him that he'll make some new pals at some point...oh, and they bribe him with a dog.

So...the moral of the story? Throw a big whiny fit when you don't get what you want, and maybe your dad will buy you a puppy!

Judith, I did not enjoy the first story...and I enjoyed this one even less. Out of ten ridiculously long titles, I give this book a paltry three.

A Color of His Own

I find there are some books that, upon re-reading them, take you back to a very specific time and place. "A Color of His Own" does that for me.

Whenever I read it, I think of a little boy I used to tutor. He was autistic, but he could read quite well - technically. He had (seemingly) very little comprehension, but lots of decoding abilites. He was extremely artistic, and loved drawing. In order to keep him engaged, I picked out a lot of books that were visually appealingand had a simple, clear plotline. When I bought an old school reader at Value Village, I found "A Color of His Own" by Leo Lionni inside. It became a fast favorite.

The little guy and I read this story umpteen times. He never seemed to tired of it. And with good reason! Like Lionni's other books, this one is done in watercolor. The pictures are very simple and bright, and the story is sweet.

What IS the story about? Thought you'd never ask!

Basically, a chameleon grows tired of always changing color (wherever he happens to sit, he changes to look like the background). He decides to sit on a leaf forever and never change color again. Problem! Leaves change color in the fall(d'oh!). When this happens, the chameleon gets kind of depressed and remains black all through winter. Then, in the spring, he finds an older, wiser chameleon. This chameleon explains that if they stick together, they'll always have a color of their own - even though they'll still change color, they'll do it together. Aw.

It's a really sweet book!

It also has the (possibly overused, but totally appropriate) "happily ever after" ending - and I'm a sucker for that.

So, for happy memories, beautiful art and a gentle story, I give this book 9 chameleons out of ten.

The Monster at the end of this Book

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that everyone loves Sesame Street. Why? Because it's awesome. And if you DON'T love Sesame Street, I have to wonder: what on earth is wrong with you?
It has monsters.
And people.
Monsters and people living together in harmony. And it's funny and cute and clever. Much like the book we're going to look at today: "The Monster at the end of this Book", by Jon Stone.

I think this book is brilliant. The writing isn't complex and the art isn't amazing - but the book is FUNNY. It's also interesting because it's a direct interaction between Grover and the reader.
The story starts with Grover finding out that there's a monster at the end of the book. After that, he proceeds to beg the reader NOT to turn the pages. The reader does (of course) despite Grover's attempts to tie the pages together, build a brick wall and plead, plead, plead.
Of course, when we finally reach the end of the book, Grover is delighted (and more than a little embarrassed) to find out that, in fact, HE is the monster at the end of the book! Hilarious (especially if you're four)!

When I first read 'Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus', I immediately thought of this book. It has the same fast-paced writing, the same quirky humor and the same endearing main character. And Mo Willems comes from the Sesame Street world as well...so maybe it's something in the water?

Any which way, this book is a terrific read-aloud, and I've yet to meet a preschooler who doesn't love it.

Ten furry faces out of ten!

Silly Tobo, it's the Eighties!

Know what's funny about many of the books written in the eighties? The theme: everyone is awesome. Everyone is a winner.

Everyone.

Even the klutzy kid who was so bad at elementary school track and field that she was given the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be the official photographer (complete with sticker that said "Press").

You know, I never saw those pictures afterwards. Come to think of it, I'm not even certain the camera had film...

A-hem.

Today's story is called "Tobo Hates Purple". What's it about? So glad you asked.

This is a tale of Tobo, some kind of child circus clown (seriously, that's as close as I can figure, based on the odd drawings). Tobo also happens to be purple. All purple - from the tips of his pointy hair to his prune-y purple toes - purple, purple, purple. Heck, everything he wears is purple. And he hates it. Purple, that is.

So why not put on different colored clothes?

Because that doesn't make for good conflict, that's why!

Tobo's being purple actually makes sense, because his mom is blue and his dad is red. But for some reason, Tobo has a total meltdown about not liking to be purple anymore. But mom tells him to buck up and go to school (clown school?) anyway.

So he does.

And all day he's in a horrible mood. People think he's sick, but really - he's sick of being purple.

So his BFF shows up at the end of the day and offers to paint him a different color. He's all, "OMG, totes!"*

They go to the BFF's and she paints him every color under the sun, but none of them feel right. And do you know what happens next?

You do if you were raised in the eighties! I feel a whole lotta self-acceptance coming on (ooh, it tingles)!

Yes. Tobo realizes that purple is the best color for him to be. He goes home and all is well. The end.

My issues with the book:

1. I'm not sure whether it's the age of the book/quality of the printing, but Tobo is really more dark blue/brown in many of the pictures.

2. Tobo is kind of a jerk when he says "how ugly orange makes me look." DUDE! Your BFF is ORANGE. NOT cool.

3. The author/illustrator's head floating on the back cover. No foolin'. It's just there, all stare-y and oddly coiffed. No neck or anything - just a floating head.

4. The art and writing aren't awful. That said, I think another writer could've written the story better, and another artist could've drawn it better. IMHO.


Overall, it's an eighties book. When I have kids, I'll probably end up reading it to them at some point. And then I'll get all misty-eyed and start rambling about Fraggles and Popples and Rainbow Brite and She-Ra. And the kids will turn out the lights and leave me sitting alone in the dark, feeling good about myself and remembering how awesome everyone is.

Even Tobo.

Out of ten bookmarks, this one earns a solid five.

*OK, so maybe he didn't say it in those EXACT words. But that was the gist of it.

Jess' Top 40 Picture Books

These are the picture books I think you simply MUST have in your collection. Because they are AWESOME.

Be warned that this list will likely grow longer. And longer. Forever.

And...please note that this list isn't in any particular order (that is, I love all the books equally).

1. Zen Shorts by Jon J. Muth
2. Something from Nothing by Phoebe Gilman
3. Flotsam by David Wiesner
4. South by Patrick McDonnell
5. The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munch
6. Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
7. Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
8. Jessica by Kevin Henkes
9. Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss
10. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
11. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
12. If you Give a Pig a Pancake by Laura Numeroff
13. Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems
14. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems
15. A Chair for My Mother by Vera B. Williams
16. Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor
17. Jillian Jiggs by Phoebe Gilman
18. Your Personal Penguin by Sandra Boynton
19. But Not the Hippopotamus by Sandra Boynton
20. Fifteen Pets by Sandra Boynton
21. Tuesday by David Wiesner
22. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. & John Archambault
23. Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shove by Virginia Lee Burton
24. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
25. Chicken Soup with Rice by Maurice Sendak
26. The Monster at the End of This Book by Jon Stone
27. Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type by Doreen Cronin
28. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
29. George and Martha by James Marshall
30. Miss Nelson is Missing by James Marshall
31. Miss Nelson has a Field Day by James Marshall
32. The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper
33. Olivia by Ian Falconer
34. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
35. A Color of His Own by Leo Lionni
36. Frederick by Leo Lionni
37. Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
38. Knuffle Bunny Free by Mo Willems
39. Blueberry Girl by Neil Gaiman
40. Jamberry by Bruce Degan




Remember: love your local library. They will let you read these books for free.